Riley to Giles: No, no, no, sir. No more chick pit for you. Come on.
-from "Buffy vs Dracula"

I walk. I talk. I shop, I sneeze. I'm gonna be a fireman when the floods roll back. There's trees in the desert since you moved out. And I don't sleep on a bed of bones.

Oh, don't worry. I've patrolled in this halter many times.

BUFFY: How've you been?
AMY: Rat. You?
BUFFY: Dead.
AMY: Oh.

It reminds me of a conversation between Willow and Wesley on AtS.

WESLEY: Sorry. I think my sense of humor’s trapped in a jar somewhere.
WILLOW: It does seem like you’ve given in to the grumpy side of the Force.
WESLEY: A lot’s happened. Not just Angelus. I’ve been… I’ve changed. I’ve seen a darkness in myself. I’m not sure you’d even begin to understand.
WILLOW: I flayed a guy alive and tried to destroy the world.
WESLEY: Oh. So…
WILLOW: Darkness. Been there.
WESLEY: Yes. Well, I never… flayed. I had a woman chained in a closet.
WILLOW: Oh, well, hey!
WESLEY: Nah, it doesn’t compare.
WILLOW: No, dark! That’s dark. You’ve been to a place.
WESLEY: You seem exactly the same as when I left. No other major changes I’m not up on?
Willow shakes her head, suppressing a smile.
WILLOW: Just little things. (beat) So… Fred. What’s her story?

"Orpheus" (Season 4, Episode 15)

Xander: How do you make cereal?
Buffy: Oh, you put the box near the milk. I saw it on the food channel.

BUFFY: Again -- wrong sister! I'm the one who dates dead guys, and no offense, but they were hotties. I mean, I'm sure you had a great personality...

Buffy: I have mom hair!

Giles: It isn't a hobby or an addiction. It's in you now...this magic. You're responsible for it.

Dawn, on the vamp in the opening scene: "He's new! He doesn't even have those martial-arts skills they all inevitably seem to pick up somehow."
(DavidS: That earned a hearty snerk. I love how Joss always zeroes in on the obvious narrative props. Also..."There's always a talisman.")

Anya: Is this an intervention? Shouldn't all of my demon friends be here?
Halfrek: Sweetie - - - They are.

Don't worry, we're sure to spot Faith first. She's like this cleavagy slut-bomb walking around 'Ooh, check me out, I'm wicked-cool, I'm five-by-five.
Willow, 'This Year's Girl'

ANGEL: 'Cause I could see your heart. You held it before you for everyone to see. And I worried that it would be bruised or torn. And more than anything in my life I wanted to keep it safe... to warm it with my own.
BUFFY: That's so beautiful... or, if taken literally, extremely gross.

Nancy - Is there anyone here who hasn't slept together?
Spike and Xander - [Meaningful look...]

Xander - "Sunnydale, come for the food; stay for the dismemberment."
Nancy - "There's good food?"

Dawn: "If you hurt my sister at all, touch her...you're gonna wake up on fire."

Buffy - "Anya, that thing you created burst through solid pavement, and ate her dog."
Anya - "Oh, puppy!"
Xander - "Wait, that gets your sad noise? Peoples' lives are in danger and you give it up for the Yorkie?"

Angel's lame. His hair goes straight up, and he's bloody stupid!
Buffybot, 'Intervention'

"Cup of tea, cup a tea, almost got shagged, cup of tea."–Spike to Giles
season 6 premier

I told him that I loved him.. and I kissed him.. and I killed him
Buffy, 'Faith, Hope & Trick'

Giles: Um, well, we listened to aggressively cheerful music sung by people chosen for their ability to dance. Then we ate cookie dough, and talked about boys.

Stop that right now! I can hear the smacking!
Giles, 'Something Blue'

I know, world in peril and we have to work together. This is my last office romance, I'll tell you that.
Buffy, 'Graduation Day (1)'

D'HOFFRYN: "Never go for the kill when you can go for the pain."

ANYA: Everyone's so considerate! I should have slaughtered people weeks ago!

D'HOFFRYN: Breathtaking! It's like somebody slaughtered an Ambercrombie & Fitch catalog!

Spike: Taking up smoking, are you? Harmony: I am a villain, Spike. Hello!
Spike/Harm, 'Out of My Mind'

Oh, I wish those council guys would let me have an hour alone in the room with her, if I was larger and had grenades.
Willow, 'Who Are You?'

Buffy: "I killed Angel. I loved him more than I'll ever love anything in this life, and I stuck a sword in his chest."

Buffy: "You cheered me on. You brought me Willow's message. 'Kick his ass,' you said." Willow: "I never said that!"

Dawn: "You're older and hotter and have sex that's rough and kill people!"

Xander: "Welcome to the Hellmouth -- where even the outerwear isn't safe."

Xander: "Get off the boy, Buffy, we're going home."

Xander: "I refuse to answer that on the grounds that it didn't fit."

Xander: Are you keeping up or do you need some kind of English-to-constant-pain-in-my-ass-translation?

Xander: "Is there something more emphatic than hate? Can I revile this plan?"

Anya: "Willow's not really much good at the practical strategizing. Except when she's evil."

Andrew - 'He is our last hope.'
Warren - 'No, there is another.'
Andrew - Really? 'Cause I thought he was our last hope.
Warren - What? No, I was just going along ... . It's a thing. He's our last hope.

The Goldfish song: "I love the fishes because they're so delicious!" and includes the great line, "the wholesome snack that smiles back until you bite their heads off."
non-BtVS quotes

Jonathon: Last time we were here, thirty-three point three bar percent of us got flayed.

All right, yes, date and shop and hang out and go to school and save the world from unspeakable demons. You know, I wanna do girlie stuff!
Buffy, 'Faith, Hope & Trick'

Holden: It's not like you have a patent on bad relationships.
Buffy: Wouldn't it be cool if I did?

And almost sixty-five percent of that was actual compliment. Is that a personal best?
Xander, 'Becoming (1)'

Buffy: There is no issue. Don't "issue" me!

AIMEE MANN: I hate playing vampire towns.

Anya: "I used to tell the truth all the time when I was evil."

Anya: Ok, but if he turns me into a vampire, I'm gonna bite your ass!
Xander: (mumbles) Wouldn't be the first time.

Anya: All I'm saying is that soulless Spike would have had me upside down and halfway to happy land by now.

Vamp Girl: Is that all I was to you? A one bite stand?

Xander: (speculating, not challenging anyone) My sire can beat your sire.

See, in my fantasy, when I'm kissing you... you're kissing me. It's okay. I can wait.
Oz, 'Innocence'

Bouncer: Yeah, yeah, I know the guy. Billy Idol wannabe.
Buffy: Actually, Billy Idol stole his look from...Never mind.

Spike: "I have come to re-define the words 'pain' and 'suffering' since I fell in love with you."

Willow: I am not to be trifled with.
Andrew: But I...
Willow: I'm talking! Don't interrupt me, insignificant man. I am Willow. I am death. If you dare defy me, I will call down my fury, exact vengence, and make your worst fears come true. 'kay?

Willow: I *am* a she-witch. A very. Powerful. She-witch. Or "witch", as is more accurate.

Not!Jonathan - It's my fault. I'm little; I have less blood. I probably should have told somebody that I'm anemic.

I miss Oz. He'd get it. He wouldn't say anything, but he'd get it.
Xander, 'I Was Made To Love You'

Willow: (helpful and perky) Should I kill Anya?
Buffy: (thinking a moment) No.

Buffy: (to Spike) I believe in you, Spike.

You're like my fairy godmother, and Santa Claus, and Q all wrapped up into one! Q from Bond, not Star Trek.
Buffy, 'Out of My Mind'

That's the thrill of living in the Hellmouth! There's a veritable cornucopia of fiends and devils and ghouls to engage ... Pardon me for finding the glass half-full.
Giles, 'Witch'

---homicide---

Homicide was great in its portrayal of different kinds of black men--Gee, who was commanding in so many ways and used his black and Italian heritages interchangeably, apt to drop a phrase in whatever lingo suited him but always a gentleman; Pembleton, who never deviated from Standard English yet was always quietly proud to be black and pretty quick to note a slight, in his precisely polite devastating way; and Meldrick, who basically had his own way of saying things that technically should have been incoherent but nevertheless worked.

"If you ain't never pick up the sword, you ain't never have to worry about fallin' on it."

"There's no forgettin' you, Mikey."

"Baltimore, home of the misdmeanor homicide."

"In this job you gotta be able to howl at yourself, or else you die inside."

"You know, you live in your own little world cause don't nobody wanna live there with you."

"I've been a cop for a long time. And drugs out there, we're never gonna win that. There's a hundred open-air drug markets in this city and fifty thousand drug fiends out there. And we are taking on human desires with lawyers, and jailhouses, and lockups, and you and I both know human desire is kicking us in the ass."

No, Gunn can't/won't replace Meldrick, but he needs his own voice and putting a 'yo' or 'man' randomly in his speeches doesn't quite cut it. Both guys are played by actors who seem to be mild-mannered, polite, immigrants in real life--JAR from Panama, Johnson from Canada. But the menace they can evoke is amazing. Meldrick's "You on my corner" speech to Luther Mahoney is amazing.

-

Clark Johnson's taken up directing -- he's been working on that FX show, The Shield, behind the camera.

Aha. Well that accounts for some of the grit, then. Johnson is genius as a supporting actor, I agree. And it seems so natural one assumes it's effortless. Which is why, I agree again, watching performances more than once is valuable.

Not that I'm obsessive stalker fangirl, or anything.

ANGEL------------

JUSTINE: Great Wesley Wyndham-Price. Great shining beacon of all that's good and pure. But wait...that's before you started banging the enemy and keeping a slave girl in the closet.

ANGEL: So. How was your summer? Mine was fun! Saw some fish...went mad with hunger...hallucinated a whole bunch.

ANGEL: What you did to me was unbelievable, Connor. But then I did get stuck in a hell dimension for hundreds of years by my girlfriend, so being underwater for three months kind of gave me some perspective.

Can't even shout, Can't even cry. The gentlemen are coming by. Looking in windows, knocking on doors. They need to take seven, and they might take yours. Can't call to mom, can't say a word. You're gonna die screaming but you won't be heard.
Dream Girl, 'Hush'

Fred - "I'm still working on a plan, but so far it involves going to prison and becoming somebody's bitch."

Gunn: "What happened to you?"
Wes: "I had my throat cut and all my friends abandoned me."

Wesley: "In fact, I happen to be the head boy!"
Cordelia: "Gee, I wonder how you earned that nickname."
Wesley: "A lot of effort, I don't mind saying."

GUNN: I say we cut his damn head off.
WESLEY: Thank you very much, Marie Antoinette.
GUNN: What'd you call me?
CORDELIA: Hey, hey! You two want to pause the homoerotic buddy cop session long enough to explain this.

Lorne: Poor Connor, engine revving and he's stuck in park.

--Cordy: “If your wondering why this vein on my temple is doing the cha-cha, it’s because I just had one of those bone-crunching, mind-splitting vision headaches. (Angel looks at her then back away. Cordy hands him a piece of paper) New job.”

Angel takes it: “I was just thinking about how much this place is like where I grew up.”

Cordy looks out on the city: “Right. - Yeah. I could see that, except for the cars, and the buildings and the, you know, everything else.”

Angel: “It’s not so different. People moving through their lives. I wonder if anything ever really changes.”

Cordy: “Sure it does. - They do. (Looks over at him) You have. - They were just dreams, Angel. They weren’t even your dreams. They didn’t mean anything.”

Angel: “But I enjoyed it.”

Cordy: “It’d probably be okay if you never mentioned that part ever again.”

Angel: “It’s still in me, Cordelia.”

Cordy: “Sure it’s in you. We all have *something*. But it’s not the only thing that’s in you. You’re not him, Angel. Not anymore. The name I got in my vision, the message didn’t come for Angelus, it came for you. Angel. And you have to trust that whoever that The Powers That Be be, - are, - is.. anyway, - they know the difference.”

Angel: “Yeah.”

Cordy: “People really *do* change.”

Angel: “Yes they do. (Gets off the embrasure and stands next to Cordy) And sometimes they change back. - If the day ever comes that I...”

Cordy: “Oh, I’ll kill you dead!”

Angel blinks: “Thanks.”

Cordy turns to go: “What are friends for?”

Angel follows her a half-smile on his face.

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