Scenes and Quotes by Spike

Dictionary of English slang and colloquialisms of the UK

London Slang

The Lexicon of Thieves Cant is based on the "Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue. A Dictionary of Buckish Slang, University Wit and Pickpocket Eloquence." printed in 1811, and based on the dictionary compiled by Captain Grose in 1785.
(Cut to Willow and Buffy's dorm room. Willow's moping again on her bed listening to sad music. There's a knock at the door.)
Willow : Come in. (Spike walks in. Willow is immediatly alarmed and gets up.) Spike! Wh-what do you want? Uh, a spell? I can do that.
(She goes to run past him, but he grabs her and and throws her against her dresser.)
Spike : I'll give you a choice. (He walks over to her.) Now I'm gonna kill you. No choice in that. But... I can let you stay dead... Or... Bring you back, to be like me.
Willow : I--I'll scream.
Spike : Bonus.
(Willow screams. Spike throws her on the bed and then turns the radio up to a blaring level.)
Willow: No!
(Spike jumps on her and they battle but he goes to bite her and can't.)
Spike : I don't understand. This sort of thing's never happened to me before. (He's sitting on Willow's bed.)
Willow : Maybe you were nervous.
Spike : I felt all right when I started. Let's try again. (He leaps on her and draws back immediatly. He tries again and the same thing happens.) Ow! Oh! Ow! Damn it! (He gets up and kicks the dresser. He starts to pace around the room.)
Willow : Maybe you're trying too hard. Doesn't this happen to every vampire?
Spike : Not to me, it doesn't!
Willow : It's me, isn't it?
Spike : What are you talking about?
Willow : Well, you came looking for Buffy, then settled. I--I... You didn't want to bite me. I just happened to be around.
Spike : Piffle!
Willow : I know I'm not the kind of girl vamps like to sink their teeth into. It's always like, "ooh, you're like a sister to me," or, "oh, you're such a good friend."
Spike : Don't be ridiculous. I'd bite you in a heartbeat.
Willow : Really? (Spike sits on her bed again.)
Spike : Thought about it.
Willow : When?
Spike : Remember last year, you had on that... Fuzzy pink number with the lilac underneath?
Willow : I never would have guessed. You played the blood-lust kinda cool.
Spike : Mmm. I hate being obvious. All fang-y and "rrrr!" Takes the mystery out.
Willow : But if you could...
Spike : If I could, yeah.
Willow : You know, this doesn't make you any less terrifying.
Spike : Don't patronize me.
-from "Initiative" Season 4 Ep. 7 (#63) "BtVS" Written by Doug Petrie
Spike (on his implant): "I'm saying that Spike had a little trip to the vet, and now he doesn't chase the other puppies anymore."
-from "Pangs" Season 4 Ep. 8 (#64) "BtVS" Written by Jane Espenson

Spike: What's this? Sitting around watching the telly while there's evil still afoot? It's not very industrious of you. I say, we go out there, and kick a little demon ass. What, can't go without your Buffy? Is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her. She is the Chosen One, after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty. Let's annihilate them. For justice, and for the safety of puppies, and Christmas, right? Let's fight that evil. Let's kill something. Oh, come on!
Oh, come on!
-from Doomed (S4, Ep11)
(Rattling. They look around. Xander charges the blaster. They go towards the sound. Spike comes out of the darkness.)
Xander: Spike?
Giles: What are you doing here?
Spike: Me? Hey, I'm not the one out of place here.
Xander: For your information, smarty, we've got a rogue Slayer on our hands. Real psycho-killer too.
Spike: Sounds serious.
Giles: It is. What do you know?
Spike: What do you need?
Xander: Her. Dark hair. Yay (indicates) tall, name of Faith, criminally insane.
Giles: Have you seen her?
Spike: Is this bird after you?
Xander: In a bad way, yeah.
Spike: Tell you what I'll do then. I'll head out, find this girl, tell her exactly where you are and then watch as she kills you. (Sees their looks of surprise and irriatation.) Can't any one of your damn little Scooby club at least try to remember that I hate you all? Just because I can't do the damage myself doesn't stop me from aiming a loose cannon your way. And here I thought the evening be dull.
Xander: Go ahead. You wouldn't even recognise her.
Spike: Dark hair, this tall (Indicates), anme of Faith, criminally insane. Like this girl already.
(Xander and Giles watch him leave.)
Xander: We're dumb.
-from "This Years' Girl" Season 4 Ep. 15 (#71) "BtVS" Written by Douglas Petrie

(Cut to the Bronze. The music is jamming and Faith is in the middle of the crowded dance floor gyrating wildly. A montage of shots of her dancing with several different people, male and female, having just about as much fun as was legally possible and still keeping your clothes on.)

(Cut to Faith still dancing as she leaves the dance floor, heading for the bar. We see Spike walking out from under the stair case and he doesn't see her until she bumps into him.)

Faith: Ooo!
Spike: ('bugger it' sigh) Oh, *you*.
Faith: (a beat) And you.
Spike: What? Are you keeping tabs on me? You're gonna give me a hard time now?
Faith: (blinks questioningly) Um, do I usually give you a hard time?
Spike:(not amused) Very funny. Well, you don't have to worry about me drinking. (raises his beer bottle) Unless you're here to
protect innocent beers.
(He walks back to stand under the stairs. Faith follows him and leans an arm against a support.)
Faith: You're a vampire.
Spike: (glaring) Was. And as soon as I get this chip out of my head, I'll be a vampire again. But until then, I'm just as helpless as a kitten up a tree. So why don't you sod off?
Faith: (nonchalantly) Okay. (starts walking away)
Spike: (pissed) Oh, fine! Throw it in my face! (she faces him again) Spike's not a threat anymore, I'll turn my back! He can't hurt me.
Faith: Spike? (recognition) Spike. (she starts to smile as she steps closer to him, until she's standing right in front of him) William the Bloody with a chip in his head. I kind of love this town.
Spike: (scoffs) You know why I really hate you, Summers?
Faith: (cheerfully) 'Cause I'm a stuck-up tight-ass with no sense of fun?
Spike: Well-- (falters) . . . Yeah, that covers a lot of it.
Faith: 'Cause I could do anything I want, and instead I choose to pout and whine and feel the burden of Slayerness? (shrugs) I mean, I could be rich. I could be famous. I could have anything. (a beat) Anyone.

(She steps even closer, putting her hands on his chest, their faces only inches apart. Spike backs up until his back is against a support and Faith stays close.)

Faith: Even you, Spike. (voice taking on a sultry tone) I could ride you at a gallop until your legs buckled and your eyes rolled up.
I've got muscles you've never even dreamed of. I could squeeze you until you pop like warm champagne and you'd beg me to hurt you just a little bit more. And you know why I don't?

(Their lips very close, Spike doesn't say anything but seems *very* interested in the answer.)

Faith: Because it's wrong. (chuckles)

(She steps around him backing off and Spike glares at her with dangerous eyes as she just grins back at him.)

Spike: (menacingly) I get this chip out . . . you and me are gonna have a confrontation.
Faith: (just as menacingly) Count on it.

(She walks away. In silent rage, Spike turns back around then spins and hurls his bottle against the wall where she had been standing just a moment ago. Still pissed, he turns and stalks across the club towards the door, stepping between a young couple, shoving them roughly aside. Before he can take another step the implant in his head sends pain shooting through his skull and he raises a hand to his head. As the pain subsides he continues on his way.)

-from "Who Are You?" Season 4 Ep. 16 (#72) "BtVS" Written and Directed by Josh Whedon
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