Scenes and Quotes by Spike

Dictionary of English slang and colloquialisms of the UK

London Slang

The Lexicon of Thieves Cant is based on the "Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue. A Dictionary of Buckish Slang, University Wit and Pickpocket Eloquence." printed in 1811, and based on the dictionary compiled by Captain Grose in 1785.


(Spike sitting in his armchair in his crypt, holding a bottle of alcohol. He pulls out the cork, sighs, and lifts the bottle to take a swig. The door bursts open and Riley enters.)
SPIKE: What took you? (Puts the cork back in and sets the bottle aside) Guess it takes a while to get back to full strength after those bites.
(Riley grabs Spike by the shirt and pulls him up out of the chair.)
SPIKE: Hey! Hey, let's be reasonable about this.
(Riley slams him up against a pillar.)
RILEY: You may have noticed, Spike, (punches Spike in the face) I left reasonable about three exits back.
SPIKE: Look, I'm not the one who got you into this. Don't kill the messenger.
(Riley scowls. He pulls back his arm and we see there's a stake in his hand. He plunges it into Spike's chest. Spike gasps.)
RILEY: Why the hell not?
(Blackout. Fade back in on Riley holding the stake in Spike's chest.)
SPIKE: (yelling) Ow! Bloody hell! Oh god! (quieter) Hey.
(He looks down at his chest as he realizes he hasn't been dusted yet. Riley yanks the stake out. Spike grabs his chest in pain, and stares at the stake.)
RILEY: Plastic wood-grain. Looks real, doesn't it? (Grabs Spike's shirt again) Don't think I don't know what's goin' on with you, Spike. (They glare at each other) Stay away from her. Or we'll do this for real next time.
(He pats Spike on the cheek and walks away. Spike leans against the pillar panting. He's still clutching his chest, but he begins to chuckle, and Riley turns back.)
SPIKE: (chuckling) Oh, man. You are really under it, aren't you?
RILEY: (angrily) What?
SPIKE: Look at you. All afraid I'm hot for your honey.
RILEY: (walks back toward Spike) Because you are.
SPIKE: Well ... yeah. But that's not your problem. Even if I wasn't in the picture, you're never gonna be able to hold onto her.
(Riley puts his hand over Spike's hand that is covering the wound. He pushes his hand deeper into it.)
SPIKE: Ow, bloody hell!
RILEY: Maybe I didn't almost kill you enough.
SPIKE: (in pain) Come on. You're not the long haul guy and you know it.
RILEY: Shut up.
SPIKE: You know it. Or else you wouldn't be getting suck jobs from two-bit vampire trulls.
(Riley looks annoyed, lets go of Spike. Spike continues panting.)
SPIKE: The girl needs some monster in her man ... and that's not in your nature... (He pushes away from the pillar, still holding his chest, and goes to sit in his chair) ...no matter how low you try to go.
(Spike sits back with an expression of pain. Riley paces around restlessly. Spike reaches for his bottle and begins to remove the cork again.)
RILEY: You actually think you've got a shot with her?
SPIKE: No, I don't. (removes cork) Fella's gotta try, though. Gotta do what he can. (Drinks)
RILEY: If you touched her... you know I'd kill you for real.
SPIKE: I had this chip outta my head, I'da killed you long ago. (Replaces cork) Ain't love grand?
( Spike tosses the bottle to Riley, who catches it and removes the cork again. He sits on a nearby coffin and takes a sip.)
SPIKE: (quietly) Sometimes I envy you so much it chokes me. (They exchange a look) And sometimes I think I got the better deal. (sighs) To be that close to her and not have her. To be all alone even when you're holding her. Feeling her, feeling her beneath you. Surrounding you. The scent ... (louder) No, you got the better deal.
(Riley looks over at Spike, takes another drink.)
RILEY: (bitterly) I'm the lucky guy. (shakes his head) Yeah.
( Long shot of the two of them sitting together. Riley tosses the bottle back to Spike.)
RILEY:
I'm the guy.
(Spike takes another swig. They sit there together.)
-from "Into the Woods" Season 5 Ep. 10 (#88) "BtVS" Written by Marti Noxon
(Spike hurries after her, arrives in time to open the door for her. Buffy stops with her hand up (prepared to grab the doorknob) and turns to Spike with a frown.)
BUFFY: What are you doing?
SPIKE: (looks at the door) I, I was ... (scoffs) I wasn't thinking.
BUFFY: What is this?
SPIKE: Oh, come- (shoves the door closed) don't get your knickers twisted, I was-
BUFFY: What ... is this? (Spike stares at her) The late-night stakeout, the bogus suspects, the flask?
(Spike raises his eyebrows)
Is this a date?
SPIKE: (loudly) A d- Please! (pretending to be amused) A date? You are completely off your bird! I mean - (quietly) Do you want it to be?
( Buffy makes a little groan, with an expression of disgust. She moves past Spike back into the warehouse.)
BUFFY: (upset) Oh my god.
(Spike bites his lip, turns to watch her.)
BUFFY: Oh ... oh no. (turns back to Spike) Are you out of your mind? (continuity note: the popcorn reappears)
SPIKE: It's not so unusual. (walks toward her) Two people ... in the workplace ... feelings develop.
BUFFY: No! No, no, feelings do not develop. No feelings.
SPIKE: You can't deny it. There's something between us.
BUFFY: Loathing. Disgust.
SPIKE: Heat. Desire.
BUFFY: Please! Spike, you're a vampire.
SPIKE: Angel was a vampire.
BUFFY: Angel was good!
SPIKE: And I can be too. I've changed, Buffy.
BUFFY: What, that chip in your head? That's not change. Tha-that's just ... holding you back. You're like a serial killer in prison!
SPIKE: Women marry 'em all the time!
BUFFY: Uhh!
SPIKE: (realizing that's not what he meant) But I'm not ... like that. Something's happening to me. I can't stop thinking about you.
BUFFY: Uhh. (turns away)
SPIKE: And if that means turning my back on the whole evil thing-
BUFFY: (turns back) You don't know what you mean! You don't know what feelings are!
SPIKE: (offended) I damn well do! I lie awake every night!
BUFFY: You sleep during the day!
SPIKE: Yeah, but - (through his teeth) You are missing the point. This is real here. I love-
BUFFY: Don't!
( She puts up a hand to stop him. He sighs.)
BUFFY: Don't say it. (Spike stares at her) I'm going. She starts to walk toward the door again.
SPIKE: Oh, come on, we need to talk-
BUFFY: (turns back) We don't need to do anything! Okay, there is no we! Understand?
(She turns to leave.)
SPIKE: Buffy.
(She opens the door and exits. Spike watches her go.)
- from "Crush" Season 5 Ep. 14 (#92) "BtVS" Written by David Fury

This is the whole conversation that Spike and Buffy have about why Slayers lose and die at a young age. Buffy asks Spike how he was able to kill two slayers. She needs to find out how to be a better Slayer and live longer. This conversation takes place in 1977 during Spikes fight with the second slayer he killed and in the present with Buffy at the Bronze. The text in black takes place in 1977 and the text in green is at the Bronze in the present.

Spike:(to Buffy) The first was all business but the second, she had a touch of your style.
(Spike and the second Slayer trade blows. This Slayer does indeed fight much like Buffy. She runs Spike headfirst into the train car's window, smashing it. Spike looses a cry of delight and attacks again.)

Spike: (to Buffy)She was cunning, resourceful... oh, did I mention? Hot. I could have danced all night with that one.
Buffy: You think we're dancing?
Spike:That's all we've ever done.

(Spike breaks one of the subway car's hand rails and wields it as a weapon.
)

Spike: (v.o.) And the thing about the dance is, you never get to stop.
(Spike flips the pool cue up and spins it like the hand rail.)

Spike: (to Buffy)Every day you wake up, it's the same bloody question that haunts you: is today the day I die?
(He brings the pool cue down in a vicious arc and Buffy counter-attacks, enraged.
Spike cracks the Slayer across the face with the metal rail, sending her reeling to the floor and pounds her repeatedly with it.
)

Spike: (v.o.) Death is on your heels, baby, and sooner or later it's gonna catch you.
(Spike brings the rail down for another blow but the Slayer catches it and slams it back into his face.)

Spike: (to Buffy) And part of you wants it... not only to stop the fear and uncertainty, but because you're just a little bit in love with it.
(Buffy has heard enough. She backhands Spike across the face. On the subway, Spike falls to the floor and the Slayer jumps on his chest, straddling him. She pounds him repeatedly in the face as the train car's lights go out. When they come back on, the Slayer is on her back with Spike straddling her, his hands around her throat.)

Spike: Death is your art. You make it with your hands, day after day.
(Buffy stares at him, her face a blank mask. The Slayer struggles beneath Spike.
)

Spike: That final gasp. That look of peace. Part of you is desperate to know: What's it like? Where does it lead you? And now you see, that's the secret. Not the punch you didn't throw or the kicks you didn't land. Every Slayer... has a death wish.
(Spike grips the Slayer's head between his hands and twists violently, snapping her neck and killing her.)

Spike: (to Buffy) Even you.(Spike stands up and faces Buffy.)
(In the subway, he walks to the end of the car and pulls the emergency cord. As the train grinds to a halt, he returns to the dead Slayer and pulls off her black leather coat.)

Spike: The only reason you've lasted as long as you have is you've got ties to the world... your mum, your brat kid sister, the Scoobies. They all tie you here but you're just putting off the inevitable.
(Spike shrugs into the dead Slayer's coat.)

Spike: Sooner or later, you're gonna want it. And the second- the second- that happens...
(Spike claps his hands together inches from Buffy's face.)

Spike: You know I'll be there. I'll slip in... have myself a real good day.
(He stares intently into Buffy's eyes, then steps back.)

Spike: Here endeth the lesson. I just wonder if you'll like it as much as she did.
(The tension is rising between them.)

Buffy: Spike...
(His passion aroused, Spike leans in to kiss her. She backs away in horror.)

Buffy: What the hell are you doing?
(He grabs Buffy by the arms, his words coming in a breathless pant.)

Spike: Come on. I can feel it, Slayer. You know you want to dance.

Buffy: Say it's true. Say I do want to.
(She shoves him to the ground and looks down at him with disgust.)

Buffy: It wouldn't be you, Spike. It would never be you.
(She tosses the wad of cash at him contemptuously.)

Buffy: You're beneath me.
(Buffy turns and walks off into the night, leaving Spike alone in the dark alley. Spike begins to gather up the money, stifling a sob. As Buffy's words ring down through the years, he becomes the same spurned and awkward young man he once was. Her words have hurt him more than her blows ever have. He closes his eyes in anguish, takes a deep breath, and when he looks up again, only murderous hate remains

- from "Fool for Love" Season 5 Ep. 7 (#) "BtVS" Written by Douglas Petrie

Riley: "Were you ... were you just smelling her (Buffy's) sweater?"
Spike: "No. (Riley glares at him) Well, yeah, all right, I did. It's a... predator thing, nothin' wrong with it. Just ... know your enemy's scent, whet the appetite for a hunt. (He sniffs the sweater again.) Ah, that's the stuff! Slayer musk, it's bitter and aggravating!"

- from "Shadow", Season 5 Ep. 8 "BtVS" Written by David Fury

Spike: Oh, yeah, okay. Let me guess — you won't kill me? Ooh! The whole crowd-pleasing threats and swagger routine. Outstandingly original. You know, I'm just passing through. Satisfied? You know, I really hope so, because God knows you need some satisfaction in life besides shagging Captain Cardboard! And I never really liked you anyway. And you have stupid hair!

- from "No Place Like Home", Season 5 Ep. 5"BtVS" Written by Douglas Petrie

<--